lately youve been tan, suspicious for the winter

OLA QUERIDA'S. My semester grades come in tomorrow, and as most of you know I'm super confident about how it all went down. three words. i killed it. i guess cram studying is very much effective, seeing as how i threw down 6months worth of studying into 2 weeks. Hi I'm a chronic procrastinator.

also, can i just say fuck australian weather! trying to cheat the ridiculous degree's these days are doomed for failure. i don't even bother to put proper clothing on anymore, i just dress like the beach is my backyard. i don't mean to be a bitch, but i sure as hell hope your summer's are the same! worse at that, i'd hate to be the only one suffering these summer hours.

Anyway, entering this new decade has been some sort of ecstasy. i cherish all the time I've had to myself, the feeling of permission to just sit around and do nothing and have no consequences is pure bliss. to do this more often would be a god send, but unfortunately i have a very critical mind set. so just after a couple of hours of doing something non-productive i find myself arguing with myself (and yes i mean i literally argue with myself) about how the slightest bit of inaccuracy could fuck up my future potential. not literally of coarse, I'm not at all concerned about my future at this point. but i am attuned to the idea of little things done now, could indeed affect things later. and with my day's mainly consisting of me day dreaming about what could be, then later followed with thorough plans to execute these day dreams, I'm sure you can see why I feel the need to be achieving some sort of productivity every day. Not crazy productivity obviously, I'm still lazy as hell, but enough to have some sort of effect on my day, weather it be physically or emotionally, or even just help me mature or grow mentally. i think its because i've been a chronic hoarder. ever since i was child, anything i came in to contact with, i wanted to keep. shells on the beach, id take home, notes people give me, id keep, i've just always been that way (i think that's why i shop so much, every time i see something cute i need to take it home) and i guess that's why i always feel the need to ameliorate myself.

And what is the purpose of all of this self growth you ask? well ultimately i hope to be a super person haha I'm just trying to acquire as much as I can in the time i have. and what did i do today that contributed to this theory i live my life by? watched a documentary on boxing history - and yes! thats counted as productive. so there! constantly feed your minds kittens :) xoxo