im an executive by day, wild man by night

Firstly, Happy Birthday Sexness Twins. its amazing how drinking games with Nono and Nona, and taco bell recipe's can make you forget why you dont like that kid, well for me atleast. It was the twin's 18th birthday this passed friday, so we attended Max's bands indie gig and lost my phone. the twin's threw their party on saturday, which is probably the hugest blur of my life. im not even going to try scope out myspace accounts for messy pictures, yall can just use your imagination. and sunday was my only day to chill off narcotic and alcoholic influences with a quick airport trip, ufc 111 (and i feel like i could ramble for hours about this card, but ill sum it up real simple. george st. pierre, yeah hi. marry me. and Carwin, three words. oh. my. god) and replaced my phone. (side note; im so bad with numbers. if i havent got at you with my new number, its just that i couldnt find yours on my shraps of paper around my bedroom when i first wrote it down, apologies)

BESIDES THAT how quickly is this year going? its already the end of march! and i have a few personal projects i need to get done for next month, one of which i havent even began. woo hoo. targetting at making my life less routine, if anythings too repititive i tend to lessen my give-a-fuck-o-meter. as you would. & im probably going to burn my bed so i can live like alexa chung, i like the simplicity of not having a bed. and with all my clutter and hoarding i think it feels fit. speaking of hoarding, im thinking about starting a new collective motive : flags. i want to have a huge collection of flags, why? um, because i can lol now if you excuse me im going to get back to sharpie'ing my ukulele, keep nujabes on repeat (r.i.p) finish this noodle box and watch these skins dvd's i just burnt, Dear Day's Off, you rock! Love, Nessar xo.

plus a quick question of irrelevance: do yall prefer the earlier cast of skins or the new? i must say i loved the first cast, sid and cassie were my fave. i got sucked right in with their story lol this new season makes me wish my life was like theirs. so they loose. haha x.

currently reading:

‘Well, as I was saying, the world is eaten up by boredom. To perceive this needs a little preliminary thought: you can’t see it all at once. It is like dust. You go about and never notice, you breathe it in, you eat and drink it. It is sifted so fine, it doesn’t even grit on your teeth. But stand still for an instant and there it is, coating your face and hands. To shake off this drizzle of ashes you must be for ever on the go. And so people are always “on the go.” Perhaps the answer would be that the world has long been familiar with boredom, that such is the true condition of man. No doubt the seed was scattered all over life, and here and there found fertile soil to take root; but I wonder if man has ever before experienced this contagion, this leprosy of boredom: an aborted despair, a shameful form of despair in some way like the fermentation of a Christianity in decay…

Naturally I keep these thoughts to myself. But I am not ashamed of them. I even believe that they’d be easy enough to communicate, too easy perhaps for my peace of mind—that is to say, for the peace of my conscience…

Our superiors are no longer official optimists. Those who still profess the rule of hope, teach optimism only by force of habit, without believing in what they say. You need only raise the mildest objection and you find them wreathed in knowing deprecating smiles; they beg you to spare them. Old priests are not taken in. For in spite of appearances, provided you use the same official terms—terms which are in any case hard and fast—the themes which inspire official eloquence are no longer the same, and our elders would never be able to recognize them…

By nature I am probably coarse-grained, for I confess that I have always been repelled by the “lettered” priest. After all, to cultivate clever people is merely a way of dining out, and a priest has no right to go out to dinner in a world full of starving people…

For those who have the habit of prayer, thought is too often a mere alibi, a sly way of deciding to do what one wants to do. Reason will always obscure what we wish to keep in the shadows. A worldly man can think out the pros and cons and sum up his chances. No doubt. But what are our chances worth? We who have admitted once and for all into each moment of our puny lives the terrifying presence of God? Unless a priest happens to lose his faith—and then what has he left, for he cannot lose his faith without denying himself? He will never learn to “look after number one” with the alert common sense—nay, with the candour and innocence of the children of this world. What is the use of working out chances? There are no chances against God.’

— Georges Bernanos, The Diary of a Country Priest (1937)

yes sir. thats her.

MARCH 22ND, 12.22AM. im 22 minutes out of the weekend and in to the next working week. how dandy. this was definitely one of those weekends that makes you miss being 14yrs old craving an exciting life and doing just about anything to pursue and receive, well at least in my case. its hilarious how unorganized i really am. im constantly deceiving myself with my mentality in actually thinking that i have everything locked down, ironically enough i comment on my own maintenance daily on how messy i really am (with plans that is) and yet i never fully commit to my own belief. and i find myself actually genuinely thinking that i have my shit on lock, thus later being proved wrong and i end the day in my semi believable sarcasm. for example, last wednesday my weekend plans were supposedly

Friday - Girl Night w/ Tracey
Saturday - Girl Day w/ Tracey, Tia, Lisa & Jenn
Saturday Night - Kayder's House Party, After House Party
Sunday - Nephews Football Game, Chill the fuck out.

seems average enough, with just enough social activity to prove me still alive, enough intimate friend activity to prove loyalty and enough family orientated activity to prove well, family values and one of which i prefer. simple lively equation i like to subconsciously spend my weekends by, and tidy and organized none the less right? wrong. the problem with this is that im Nessar, and nothing ever works out how i intend it to. instead my weekend consisted of skateboarding and pizza, best friend black eyes, greatest breakfast bar in the world, free hotel room, a real life episode of cops, free grinspoon concert, met the love of my life oh haaaai patty! haha, alot of blurry moments, denial to enter a club, a 14yr reunion, hair shavers, burnt hair (haha i see you maxxie!) and a pair or really sore feet. and that gives my weekend no justice at all. no complaints. i love the weekend! hope yall enjoyed yours! and B430 is the best show in the world! xx
(picture's via, can't remember but randomly found them on my sister's laptop and thought they were kinda cute lol)

I'm beaming

LATELY I've been obsessing over astronomy, and not just to see all the pretty sparkly things, give me more credit than that haha but to a serious degree that im branching out to read articles about cosmic background radiation and greek mythology, your yet to learn that im a nerd. always have been actually, and when im interested in something i thoroughly study until i get interested in something else, curse you short attention span! but putting my current obsessive studies aside, im inlove with the images, i'd love to get them printed on a shirt or something like Zara did. hmmm xo.

lovely how i let my mind float, now imma take my b-aa-aad ass home

Here are a few of the film shot's Kyle and i took last week, same day we shot the ones in the previous post. the weather is starting to transition back to it's exceptionally windy rain routines, which im about to use to my advantage, this call's for 16hour gaming nights of final fantasy 13 and i'm still on my bioshock 2 drive. i've been off and on with it, which explains my non-completion. or maybe i just suck, you'll never know! haha. fuseing my bestfriend play date with my dinner date, talk about convenient! leave's more time for me and thy rudely abused xbox 360. and to answer a much repeated question of curiosity, the reason i don't reply to your questions of how i style my hair, is because i don't. lol. at all. i don't style it ever, my hairs that natural wave because when i was 14 i had a purm, and i guess it adapted to my natural thick waves and result in what you see every day, i dont know if i've mentioned this but i am probably the laziest girl you should ever encounter, most of my personality and habits consist of me being lazy, in fact my whole "i dont give a fuck" attitude is more less the fact that im too lazy to give a fuck haha but besides that, i hope your all doing well! x.

fail with consequence, lose with eloquence and smile.

Title via, the 109 play's Notwist song on my ipod, what makes it worse is that was only the play count for one day. wow nessar, really? my best friend flew in from sydney on saturday morning, ola handsome! two weeks en counting! same old reoccurring daily activities, as per normal, productivity has amounted too all day movie's, nail polish remover, interweb rapeing and ignoring your phone call's. how do you like it? picture's via thursday last week, or was it wednesday? i can't even recall lol but photo credit, kyle. he's a 15 year old wonder! your gonna make the big time baby! YOUR GONNA MAKE THE BIG! haha, this weeks social activities include, play dates with my best friend, dinner at Dean's! (you have no idea, how much of an undercover chef this boy is! heaven.) weekly meetings with tia and jenn, true blood marathon with tracey, and crashing your house party ;)

and an awkward clarification, i met a girl on sunday who say's she reads my blog, your ponytail was totally cute by the way! i can't remember if i told you that or not lol, and there was a lil confusion, so incase you feel the same way, ill make this shit way apparent. IM A BROWN SKIN GIRL. i don't know, why or who keep's saying im light skinned, because im not, and i don't come from south america, or anywhere south for that matter. nor do i claim to have an accent, i admit to saying some words funny, like banana, and down, and can't that may throw you off abit, but i can assure you im not of any european/carribean/western hemisphere decent. IM JUST FUNNY LOOKING OKAY! haha damn people, damn. don't get me wrong, im flattered at some of the ethnicity's you kids throw at me, but on the other hand i feel like im lacking in my own and that im just that uncool that i can't even pull off my own race haha, which is maori by the way! lol x

no description necessary, you shouldn't 'ave woke me

as per usual, more pictures via my temper testing flickr --> HERE.

rockin since '93

my morning music craving for 6 - 15 minute live rock shows are definately unveiling themselves this past week, and because its a morning craving it influences my whole persona! from dress style, to attitude, to cant be fucked'ness. which to me, has resulted in my favour, i wish i was around to experience real rock concert's, im saddened by the idea that the likes of 30 seconds to mars, fall out boy and muse are my generations idea of great rock music. its things like this that make me wish i was born in any other time frame but my own! im appreciative of the classics, and that goes for life in general, i could go on for ages about how i live in the suckiest generation ever! but i endure, as you would.

2/3 of La Fraicheur

WORKING HARD? OR HARDLY WORKING? my productivity level's are scoping their way north! thank the lord, with a couple spare time projects (one of which includes my two fascinating ladies Jenn - who has a blog now! --> here - & Tia, both of which are about to become frequent related posts!) and subject selections to occupy my more fortunate days of the week, otherwise you'll catch me drenched in improper behavior and language associated activities. ive been seriously debating with myself, and the few other's in my life who are so convincing to my self desired fixations, about cutting my hair! and yes i know the season's are changing, but living in australia does rob you of winter and fall forecast's i kid you not! either way, im sick of having hair, and being a female at that! please trade with me! a couple play dates to up come in this week, but otherwise im on my chill spree, yes you love it!

ALSO, my ipod has decided to test my overused dependence on it and deleted all 1600 songs off itself! some of which were extreme rareys! so im kind of really pissed about that! if anyone has any musical suggestions, comment me while im on my previous music hunt! ide love to hear what kind of music my snazzy ass readers are into :) and im really disappointed in the amount of surprised comments i received in my previous post, ecspecially since most of them were from my friends! you of all people should be aware of my UFC crazed mindset yet alone be open minded to the fact that im inlove with boxing! one of which is a form of craft in the MMA industry, so shame on yall! haha - i do suppose on the plus side it does show my personality to still be unraveled and surprising none the less, glad yall dont have me that figured out :) we all know how much i try to keep my relevance, well, relevant lol

i know you kids are well! keep at it xoxo

"I know where I'm going and I know the truth, and I don't have to be what you want me to be. I'm free to be what I want"

no honor amongst fellows, it's harder than sitting with a blind man and trying to describe yellow

my light blew after these pictures, how farking unfortunate for me, so until i can be bothered to effort myself to the store to replace my busted light bulb, i will be stumbling around my bedroom in the dark! sweet! t-shirt by the NRA Australian Fashion Festival, by Harry Watt. the artwork is extremely dope, so creditentials are more than necessary. hope everyone's week is extremely dandy :) and also, the first picture was not intended to display fan-manship to the most familiar Vulcan sign on Star Trek. anyone who know's me IRL should indeed recognize it for mine and Tia's virginity promotion. get like us! xo

we smoke pot, read books and talk, darling were a threat